Top 10 Things My (and all) Children Want to Discuss at Dinner

  1.  Poop
  2.  Anuses
  3.  TV shows
    1.  Ones that no adult in the universe is interested in
    2.  Ones that everyone at the table has already seen
    3.  Ones that no one at the table has seen
  4.  The First Grade War (alternatively, The Fourth Grade War)
  5.  People with bad table manners at school (thereby ruining each other’s appetite)
  6.  Blood, surgery, accidents, gore in general
  7.  Boogers, teeth problems, ear wax (thereby ruining my husband’s appetite)
  8.  Politics (thereby ruining everyone’s appetite)
  9.  Chemistry, cars, horses, money
  10.  Food

Just wait until they are adults and their father and I show up at their houses for dinner.  We’ll flop around, take our shirts off, cry, pick at the food, make rude noises, fart loudly, shriek like banshees, talk about wildly inappropriate subjects, leave the table multiple times, and cry.  I just hope we have enough of our wits left to enjoy it.

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